Monday 17 June 2013

For me to be myself.



Leaning against the wall, I thought about myself the whole night.
Was it the right choice to go this way? I don’t know anymore.
I still can’t find the answer, but no matter where I am.
I have to desperately work my hardest.
I was looking down, but I lifted my head up slightly
And saw a clear morning.

For me to be myself.
What is the thing that I can’t afford to lose?
I can’t find the answer easily, it feels so painful, I can’t breathe.
Don’t keep brooding over that one mistake.
If I keep on walking, will I grow to love it?

Why is it that the more I want to cherish something
The further away it gets from me?
“I won’t go beyond this,” saying that, yet longing for it again.
Giving names like “dream” or “love” to those invisible things
And feeling a little proud when calling them by those names
Ah, but actually, that’s not what they’re about.

For me to be myself.
That sentence makes me confused.
I can’t find the answer easily, it feels so painful, I can’t breathe.
But at least, I should look up and walk on without dawdling.
I’m sure I can find what I’m looking for inside this world.

My thoughts couldn’t be conveyed, so I flung them aside.
I even wished for everything to be destroyed.
But that’s not it.
If even grief can be turned into kindness
Slowly but surely, I can start liking this world.

So..For me to be myself
Searching for what exactly I need.
Getting hurt, stopping in my tracks.
It feels so painful. But I’ll only live once.
So without brooding and blaming myself.
If I just keep on walking, I will be able to love my world.

Because I believe, that there is light on the road ahead.

Tuesday 11 June 2013

Rindu.

Di kala hati merindu
Pujuklah hati,
Sesungguhnya yang layak menerima rinduku,
Dan sebaik-baik pengubat rindu,
Hanyalah padaMu Ya Allah.

Aku yakin,
Dengan merinduiMu,
Kau pasti menerima rinduku,
Sedangkan jika aku rindukan manusia,
Belum tentu dia merindukan aku.

Di kala hati terluka,
Dan kecewa kehilangan sesuatu yang disayangi,
Pujuklah hati.

Ya Allah,
Hanya Engkau yang layak aku cintai,
Kalau aku cintakan manusia,
Manusia akan pergi,
Kalau aku cintakan dunia,
Dunia pasti rosak,
Malah akan merosakkan aku,
Tetapi sekiranya aku mencintaiMu,
Pasti selangkah ku rapat padaMu,
Seribu langkah Kau rapat padaku.

Di kala hati merasa sedih dan pilu,
Berpisah dengan yang disayangi,
Ubatilah hati..
Ajaklah hati berkata...
Ahh.. aku hanya berpisah dengan manusia
Bukankah Tuhan masih ada untuk aku gantungkan hatiku.
Sesungguhnya hanya padaMu sahaja tempat aku mengadu.

Ya Allah, terimalah hati hambaMu ini.

Di kala hati merintih,
Kerana menerima ujian dan dugaan,
Didiklah hati.

Ya Allah,
Memang aku layak menerima kesusahan dariMu
Kerana hati ini banyak berdosa padaMu,
Juga sering mengulangi kesilapan lalu,
Aku pasti ya Allah,
Ujian dan kesusahan ini mengundang hikmah dan iktibar buatku,
Tanda kasih dan sayang Mu.

Ya Allah,
Sesungguhnya aku tidak layak memasuki syurgaMu,
Namun aku juga tak terdaya untuk menghadapi api nerakaMu,
Terimalah taubatku dan ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku,
Sesungguhnya Engkau menerima taubat hambaMu.

Ya Allah,
Kurniakanlah aku cintaMu,
Dan cinta orang yang cinta kepadaMu,
Dan cinta orang yg cinta kepada orang yang hampir kepadaMu,
Dan jadikanlah cinta itu yang boleh aku dambakan.